Mistress (1992)

Funny, pointed satire of Hollywood involving the efforts of two huckster screenwriters and a producer to make a film that, as it turns out, is just an excuse for the money-men to put their mistresses on camera. Robert Wuhl is the writer of a years-old melodrama revolving around the suicide of an artist unwilling to compromise (gotta love the foreshadowing) who gets a call from desperate producer Martin Landau and his young spec screenwriter saying that they believe they can get financing for the picture. The rest of the film involves Wuhl and Co. pitching the script to various financiers, who each have their own nitpicks with the script, with the commonality that they all want their girlfriends to appear in the picture in a sizable role. Every compromise Wuhl makes to his beloved script is another compromise of his integrity; this film is noteworthy for making the writer, normally portrayed as a beleaguered, passionate artist or a hack, into a confused, aimless narcissist tired of defending a script that only he loves in lieu of making a compromised, but released picture. The directorial style is fairly barebones, letting the play-like dialogue and monologues take full focus, which works here only because of the acting talent involved; the prospective money-men include Robert DeNiro, Danny Aiello, and Eli Wallach, all of whom kill their respective performances, particularly DeNiro's Hollywood hotshot. Wuhl, and, especially, Landau, are both terrifically desperate and pathetic, as is Jean Smart as Aiello's aging stewardess mistress and Sheryl Lee Ralph as the proposed lead actress for the film. The script, co-written by Under Siege and Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death scribe J.F. Lawton, is not quite as nihilistic as similar showbiz comedies The Player or Swimming With Sharks, but it definitely portrays Hollywood as a soulless vacuum where all integrity must be checked at the door for any sort of tangible, monetary success.

Recommended for fans of Hollywood-centric comedies a la The Player or The Last Shot, or the stellar cast. I wasn't expecting much of a film with DeNiro, Aiello, and Landau from '92 that I had never heard of, but this one is indeed worth seeking out if the setup tickles your fancy.

Scarface (1932)

The Howard Hawks-directed, Howard Hughes-produced precursor to the '83 Depalma-Stone-Pacino remake about a gangster rising up in the contraband distribution rackets, this time selling Prohibition-era hooch. Allegedly based on Al Capone, whose cut-up face inspired the title, Paul Muni plays Tony Camonte as a crude, morally indifferent, ambitious tough guy whose balls of steel are actually a form of self-destruction; he is less of an inebriated slave to his impulses as Pacino was, and more of a hollow, aimless shell of a man who seeks to prove himself through terror and violence, rather than respect. The incestuous relationship with the sister is here, as well as the attraction to the boss' lady (who, surprisingly, comes off as more appealing and less plain stuffy and hard-to-get as Pfeiffer). Steven Bauer's Manolo is George Raft's Guino, and his, along with Muni, is the strongest performance in the film; constantly flipping his coin and silently backing up Camonte, Guino proves to be more like a real tough-guy, the spitting image of unflappable, unreactionary cool. The pace of the film is where it surprised me the most; about half the running time of its epic remake, this picture is relentless, opening up with Camonte doing his first hit and continuing with almost non-stop, shocking (even for today) violence, punctuated by scenes of Muni's snakey, amoral gangster usurping his superiors. The ending, while a cliche, is a prime example of noir iconography, and is expertly (and in very modern fashion) performed by Muni.

Highly Recommended to fans of noir, '30s gangster pictures, or, of course, Pacino's Scarface. I have not seen any of Hughes' other productions, but of Hawk's work, I have seen Rio Bravo and The Big Sleep, both more popular and heralded films than Scarface, and both more bloated and self-satisfied pictures; the level of slime here along with a general trailblazing violent energy distinguish, and contemporize, this film far more than those more famous works.

The Fourth Kind (2009)

Terrifically haunting thriller that combines archive-style footage with reenacted material to tell the story of an Alaskan town with a high amount of missing people. Milla Jovovich, Will Patton, and especially Elias Koteas are very effective in their respective roles, and the film maintains an extremely tense tone throughout. Ruining any more would compromise the slow, horrific pace of the film.

Highly Recommended for fans of intelligent, tense horror films.

Machete (2010)

Appropriately crazy and over-the-top feature-length adaptation of the fake trailer (that's gotta be a first) revolving around a racist-killin' MexiCAN who gets framed, and, naturally, must seek revenge. The style of this Robert Rodriguez (co-written, co-produced, and co-directed) flick is strongly evocative of B-grade '90s action pictures, and not in the most obvious, corny ways; Rodriguez wants this to be able to play as a straight, gung-ho, fuck yeah Mexican action picture as well as a subversive nod to the conventions of the genre. The action is absurd, but horrifically comic, and it pleases the audience as well; the audience I saw it with hooted and hollered throughout. The cast is, mostly, a delight: aside from the badass Danny Trejo as the titular Machete, you have a mix of modern day eye candy (Michelle Rodriguez, Jessica Alba, and Lindsay Lohan) and older, '80s era stars (Jeff Fahey, Robert DeNiro, Don Johnson, and Steven Seagal) hamming it up and having a blast. Unfortunately, much of the script revolves around Alba's boring-sauce INS agent, and her scenes drag down the momentum of the film, but the rest of the cast (save for Lohan) picks up her pace, especially Seagal, who makes his first major villain turn a fresh, original turn from him (and it shows he has a sense of humor, which is nice). The stronger emphasis on humor here is what differentiates this from the recent action-flick homage, The Expendables, and it's also what makes this film a more memorable experience altogether.

Highly Recommended for fans of high action and/or the more harder-edged output of Robert Rodruiguez (i.e. Desperado, From Dusk Till Dawn). The best thing I can say about this movie is that every shot that I remember from the trailer ended up the film, and I definitely didn't think that shit was possible; I once again think to myself that Rodriguez may be one of the smartest men in show-business right now.

The Crazies (2010)

Okay, but unneccessary remake of George Romero's classic '70s horror film about a town that experiences dementia en masse, and the containment crew sent in to eradicate them. Instead of painting a portrait of the whole town, this remake focuses almost purely on a group of four survivors, including Timothy Olyphant as the town Sheriff, Radha Mitchell as his pregnant wife, and Danielle Panabaker as a fragile high schooler. The tension is thus more subjective and personal, and less of a display of a multitude of terrifying situations as the first one was; this makes it more palatable for modern mainstream audiences, but robs the film of the originals ruthless distinction. The interplay between the survivors is above average for a horror movie, and the arc between Olyphant and his deputy actually proves kind of touching, but in the end, the movie is best when its showing the creepy ways in which the townspeople go coo coo. Breck Eisner knows what he's doing, as proven with this and Sahara, I just hope he gets a truly distinctive, original script to match his confidence and chops.

Slightly Recommended for diehard fans of the original or this modern wave of horror remakes. This is solid, but pretty unremarkable.

Piranha 3D (2010)

Filled to the brim with gore and nudity, this is a horror film that knows its audience, and wholeheartedly respects and indulges what they are there to see. The plot is Jaws, straight-up: a lakeside community discovers killer piranha in their waters the same week as the yearly town-driving spring break. Elizabeth Shue is Roy Scheider (complete with an homage to the shot where he sees the dead boy), Adam Scott is Richard Dreyfus (who, himself, cameos in the intro), and Ving Rhames ends up as Quint, in more ways than one. The protagonist is Shue's teenage son, who gets involved with a Girls Gone Wild-type video crew to win over a prospective girlfriend; this is all stock horror filler material, but it actually proves entertaining, due in no small part to the crude presentation of the crew (including Jerry O'Connell and Paul Scheer) as lecherous, near-psychotic perverts. But the best appearance in the film belongs to Christopher Lloyd, explaining the impossibility of these ancient fish appearing in the lake with 1.21 jigawatts of his trademark energetic delivery; the filmmakers confidently set up a sequel where he may get a larger role, and that is definitely a motivator to follow this franchise. The fish carnage is bountiful and wonderfully over-the-top, but the films tight budget shows in some fuzzy, shaky gore shots. The films greatest achievement is its simultaneous self-awareness and genuine horror tension; the laughs and scares come at an equal ratio, making for a fun, breezy horror film that nails, as the critics have said, the mood that films like Snakes on a Plane have been shooting for for years.

Highly Recommended for horror buffs, or anyone else who loves gore or boobies or Christopher Lloyd (basically everyone, right?).

The Power of One (1990)

Lovely, but overly literary saga of a young English boy growing up amongst racist Afrikaners and natives in South Africa. The film starts out with its protaganist as around 7 years old, both on-screen and in narration, and then moves on about half an hour in to him at around 14-15, and then again later to a young Steven Dorff; this sprawling, ambitious storytelling is disconnecting, and stretches ones patience by the time Mr. Dorff attempts to command the picture. The other big marquee name here is Morgan Freeman, and his presence, along with that of Armin Mueller-Stahl, adds a lot of class to the proceedings, but it's limited to the first half of the film, which is actually fairly captivating. It is when the protagonist begins to settle into his role as a community leader that the film begins to grow repetitive, predictable, and stale. However, the locations and cinematography are fantastic, and the action, including some boxing scenes, is well-directed and shot.

Slightly Recommended to fans of lush African tales or the novel it is based on. It is more confident and self-assured than John G. Avildsen's earlier ciassics, The Karate Kid and Rocky, but nowhere near as cohesive and fun.

G.I. Joe: The Movie (1987)

Right off the bat, this is infinitely superior to both the recent G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra AND the original animated Transformer's film; while those films are bogged down by lame, pointless plots, this film is pretty much wall-to-wall Joe vs. Cobra action, which is precisely and exactly what I want from a Joe movie. The framework involves the age-old battle between the Joes, the "Real American Heroes" (circa 1987), and the terrorist baddies the Cobras, as they are both pit against a third faction with even greater hardware than they possess. Meanwhile, the Joes train a new, younger generation of warriors (and toys) to beef up their chances against these new reptilian creatures. There are maybe 10 lines of dialogue not of the "GET HIM!" or "GO JOE!" variety, and they are trademark corny G.I. Joe; no middle-of-the-road tepid sincerity from Channing Tatum here (although Don Johnson is an excellent loose cannon recruit). The action here is definitely the name of the game here, and it is relentless, with huge battles involving fantastic vehicles, weapons, and creatures that have earned, in my eyes, multiple viewings just to capture all the glorious detail; a.k.a. FUCK AVATAR (seriously though, there is similar imagery in some of the action scenes, and this pulls it off with greater sincerity, originality, and aplomb). The visuals are of a significantly higher budget and care than the TV series, and allow for a minimalistic, thoroughly action-driven experience.

Highly Recommended to fans of the G.I. Joe cartoon (and for the Stephen Sommers version, for that matter) and action-oriented '80s cartoons such as Fire and Ice or Heavy Metal; while this is not nearly as mature as those films, it delivers on the spectacle element so thoroughly that it earns being mentioned alongside them.

New York, New York (1977)

Overblown, but handsome musical by Martin Scorcese about two post-war lovebirds trying to make it in the music business, one as a musician, the other a singer, while struggling to maintain their own tumultuous relationship. The films first half-hour is the best, with the slow romantic build up between Robert DeNiro's criminally arrogant saxophonist, Jimmy, and Liza Minelli's guarded USO crooner, Francine. Once their career's begin to soar and the film begins to find its groove, the suspense is kind of deflated; we know these two have problems, and they hooked up despite them, so watching them bend and squirm at each other's mercies (particularly DeNiro, whose nearly sociopathic character is the most magnetic in the film) becomes pretty tasking by the end of the 160 minute running time. The music, mostly big band and jazz, is great, as are the period elements of the piece; the sets, costumes, and hairstyles are all very evocative of a dreamy, blissful vision of post-war America. Scorcese's framing is inventive and lively, and is only restricted by the repetitive quality of the film's script; the greatest success of the film is that, due to Scorcese and DeNiro, the inherently destructive and anti-social Jimmy ends up coming off as likable. Minelli is, surprisingly, stronger off-stage than on; she has an endearing, haunting openness in her acting that does not come through in her comfortable, exuberant stage performances.

Recommended for fans of Scorcese or DeNiro (all 4 of you out there) and really glitzy, old-school musicals with an edge; I'm really thinking of Pennies from Heaven, which this film roughly equals in quality. This is not the bane on Scorcese's filmography that I was let to believe, but rather an interesting experiment (far superior and more inventive than his worst work) that gives DeNiro yet another opportunity to display his mastery of acting for the screen.

Tetro (2009)

Lovely, but unremarkable effort from Francis Ford Coppola about two brothers who reconnect in Buenos Aires. There are echoes of Rumble Fish in both the black and white visuals and the vague plot, with the younger brother escaping the shadow of his older brother while the older brother distances himself from their father. Vincent Gallo is the titular Tetro, the disillusioned, emotionally wounded older brother, and his soft-spoken, airy demeanor recalls Mickey Rourke's Motorcycle Boy; his unique acting style actually seems quite appropriate here, as Tetro is mostly an indecipherable, obtuse character. The other characters in the film are well played, but a little more stock: his Hispanic girlfriend is maternal and caring, while the younger brother is naiive and sexually awkward. The film, even more so than Rumble Fish, lives and dies on its gorgeous visuals. Coppola creates frames here that are among the most distinctive in his career, without his trademark high-budget ambitions. He uses color only in flashback, a device I have not seen before, but wholeheartedly embrace as a stylistic choice. And the use of his environment is lovely, with Buenos Aires seeming like a magical, unexploited location suitable for this story. But nothing ever happens in the story that is truly fresh or original, and while there are revelations and a narrative throughline, it is not a shred as captivating as the greatest of Coppola's earlier works.

Slightly Recommended to fans of Coppola's more indie-minded work a la Rumble Fish and Vincent Gallo. I got more than I expected, but based on what I'd heard, I expected nothing.