The Last Airbender (2010)

I have to admit, I didn't really watch the film with its original production audio, but rather with the custom Rifftrax audio commentary that the Mystery Science Theater 3000 guys made for this one. That being said, while the viewing experience was hilarious, self-aware, and more accessible, the film itself struck me as a humorless adaptation of the animated series, with beloved characters rendered into lame caricatures and plot points, along with a painfully dull, first-of-a-trilogy plotline. I cannot give this turd a full review. But I can wholeheartedly recommend watching it with the Rifftrax in place, where the plethora of shortcomings, misconceptions, and shoddy performances become not detriments to the film, but rather its glorious, epic-fail signature. For those who actually followed the series devoutly, and expected more from a big-budget Hollywood adaptation, I am sad to say, it's just not there; from the annoying reductions of the three leads to the impotent flailings of villainous Dev Patel, there is very little here to appreciate with any sort of sincerity. The effects, my biggest hope for the production since the original teaser on last year's Super Bowl, are, surprisingly, repetitive and unremarkable, and do nothing to expand what has been seen in the promotions. I made a decision, years ago, that the strengths of The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, and even Signs, made M. Night Shymalan worth defending, or at least, worth holding out hope for; why does he actively keep making it harder for me?

W/ Rifftrax: Recommended for fans of campy, overreaching fantasy/sci-fi such as Flash Gordon or Dune.

http://www.rifftrax.com/rifftrax/last-airbender

W/out Rifftrax: Skip it.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011)

Simultaneously inoffensively fun and thoroughly lightweight and forgettable, this fourth entry in the Pirates franchise disregards previous leads Will and Elizabeth, and instead focuses on Jack Sparrow as he ventures in search of The Fountain of Youth. I use the term "focuses" lightly; while the central narrative actually does involve Captain Jack this time, he is merely a cog in a larger machine that also includes a haunted ship, run by the legendary Blackbeard and his daughter, a Spanish fleet en route to desecrate the Fountain for Catholicism, and the British Navy, led by a tenuously reformed Captain Barbossa. Jack drunkenly blunders his way in and around these elements, flirting with Blackbeard's daughter (who is, in a lame and obvious twist, a former flame), and fighting alongside Barbossa, leading up to the final showdown at the Fountain of Youth. If the plot seems telegraphed and obvious, that's because it is; eschewing the complicated narrative overlapping of the last two films, the writers have created a streamlined scenario with clear-cut conflicts and tensions, without very much in the way of subtlety or subtext. This both works for and against this chapter, for while the lack of pretension and heavy-handedness allows one to further enjoy both the gorgeous production design and Jack's humorous demeanor, the obvious lack of substance or any memorable, distinctive moments can be directly attributed to that decision. However, where the script fails is where the crew pick up the pace, creating lovely, detailed environments (aside from the anticlimactic Fountain, itself) that are lensed and rendered beautifully, hampered only by the restricted staging and lifeless action scenes (save for the introductory London setpiece) that can be attributed to inexperienced (and overrated) director Rob Marshall.

Another huge problem with deviating completely from the preexisting formula, and cast, of the series is the necessity to shoehorn in a new collection of characters to rival the originals. For the most part, this leads to undeveloped, undercooked, and generally uninteresting roles like Ian MacShane's Blackbeard (a tired mad pirate caricature), his daughter (an indifferent Penelope Cruz, whose entire character is encapsulated by a reference to her "fiery blood from her Latin mother"), a stowaway priest (a clearly contrived substitute for Orlando Bloom), his mermaid love interest (a clearly contrived substitute for Keira Knightley), and a lame, barely-seen captain of the Spanish fleet (a central villain with maybe 5 lines). Faring better amongst the new blood are Scrum, yet another entry in the series collection of grizzled crewmen, who, as played by Stephen Graham, is hilarious, endearing, and more of a presence than any of the glorified extras who swabbed the decks before him, and Richard Griffiths, who absolutely kills it in a cameo as King George. But, even more evident here than in At World's End, the secret weapon of this franchise remains not Johnny Depp, who has a jolly time while not bringing anything new to the table, but rather Geoffrey Rush as Barbossa. His long face, his bulging eyes, his epic line delivery, and, while posing as a good, stalwart Englishman, his splotchily dyed skin and pathetic wig all fit perfectly well into this pirate universe, and his exuberant presence, as in the third one, goes a long way into legitimizing the "piracy" of the film. By the time him and Jack were tentatively teaming up against the Spaniards, I was more on board with the franchise than I had been since the finale of Curse of the Black Pearl, and for a while, the film really allows these two characters to optimally utilize their well-worn characters for an ideal sense of breezy, humorous adventure. His contribution to the franchise, and, especially, to this film in particular, cannot be overstated; he, rather than the Keith Richards impersonation (or Richards, himself, who cameos again), is the true image of a Pirate at the heart of this world, so much so that Blackbeard, with all his supernatural fire and brimstone, just comes off as a bad Xerox of Rush's character.

Slightly Recommended for family audiences, people who really liked the previous entries of the franchise, or for action fans who have already seen Thor and Fast Five (I'd even see Fast Five again, and did, before this one). This was not nearly the disaster I had predicted it to be; time will only tell whether it survives the dissipation of its audience by one adventure-fantasy, one sweat-covered male actioner, and a unanimously approved chick flick, all of which are superior films.

Your Highness (2011)

Laugh-out-loud, ambitious fantasy-comedy about a pair of medieval-era princes, one handsome and stalwart, the other a Kenny Powers-esque slob and philistine, who team up to save the handsome one's bride from an evil wizard. Along the way, they get involved with many genre-appropriate side-quests and obstacles, eventually forming a bond with a female warrior who, inevitably, is the philistine's love interest. The true innovation of this movie is a reappropriation of the tone of 2001's A Knight's Tale, with it's amalgam of era-appropriate and anachronistic dialogue and circumstances, just done to the umpteenth degree; while some scenes are riddled with "thines" and "thous," in one of my favorite moments, the handsome prince reacts to news of the female warrior's joining of their party with a genuine, "Nice!" However, to counteract the fantasy stuff, the first hour (prior to the addition of Natalie Portman's badass chica) has a very strong buddy comedy element, with the two princes having a strained, yet bro-y relationship that recalls David Gordon Green's last film, Pineapple Express; separating the two for third-act tension is the film's most crucial flaw, along with the lack of a payoff a la the brilliant "I'm gonna save you, man" scene in the latter film. The fantasy stuff is very cool, and played surprisingly straight, with some pretty inventive and creative scenarios and creatures, but the ending promises a more spectacular display of magic and wizardry than it ultimately delivers on. Ultimately, the film achieves a tone not unlike Land of the Lost, where, while there are genuinely cool things going on, the true essence of the film is defined through its comedy and its tongue-in-cheek tone.

While I figured, prior to seeing the film, that Danny McBride would kill it as what is essentially a dark age-era Kenny Powers, cussing, womanizing, and abusing drugs with an intense, thoroughly intent vigor, it is James Franco, as the foppy heir to their fathers throne, who ends up standing out. Investing his character with a different sort of sexual and behavioral naivete than his character from Pineapple Express, he smiles, poses, and sings (terribly) through the film without once taking his character too far into the realm of the obnoxious superstar role; he has true love for his brother, and actually respects him for not succumbing to the superficial, castrating pressures of the royal court and their father. However, about an hour or so in, he joins his love interest (a surprisingly funny, but disappointingly sparse Zooey Deschanel) in captivity, and Natalie Portman permanently joins McBride to defeat the evil wizard and save the two lovers. Here, without the constant verbal interplay of Franco and McBride, the film begins taking itself too seriously, and several unnecessary plot elements begin to develop, before faltering and being forgotten about. While the action in the final showdown IS big, and only slightly anticlimactic, it is not dynamic or interesting enough to cover for the decided lack of laughs in that section of the film. That being said, the rest of the film balances its tone nicely, with Charles Dance, Damian Lewis, and Toby Jones (well, maybe not Toby Jones) adding a touch of gravity and dimension to the proceedings, but it only barely survives the cliched, lazy plotting the film eventually succumbs to. And Natalie Portman, skivvies or no, is having a tremendously overexposed year, with Black Swan, No Strings Attached, The Other Woman, Thor, and this all opening within THE FIRST 6 MONTHS of 2011. Her familiar, and boringly Episode 1-ish appearance in the film deflates much of the momentum from the films sails, and the successive beats that work function despite, and not at all in due to, her presence.

Recommended to fans of goofily epic and large sci-fi/fantasy films, a la Land of the Lost, or Judd Apatow buddy comedies, like the aforementioned Pineapple Express. There are a number of potsmoking references and scenes, but this is not the stoner comedy its title would lead you to believe; way more Krull than Cheech and Chong.

P.S. Justin Thereoux may be slightly too cutesy and self-aware as the evil wizard, but he gets some INCREDIBLE moments and lines, such as the already iconic response to the King's, "And how do you expect to do that?": "Magic...motherfucker!!"

Spartacus (1960)

Terrific swords-and-sandals epic by Stanely Kubrick about a slave, played by Kirk Douglas, who stands up to the Roman Empire, headed by Sir Laurence Olivier. The central theme of overcoming human adversity and achieving self-worth in the face of enslavement is effective, but tacky; the 3 1/2 hour film would be crushed under the weight of its own self-righteousness, were it not for the deft, professional craft of Kubrick a true master of his craft. Through his camera, we do not view the action from the most obvious or traditional of methods, but instead are treated with odd angles, huge, mind-blowing use of the 70mm camera, and shockingly subversive and nuanced acting. The film earns its "epic" title without exploiting the money and production values involved, but rather by heightening tension and conflict to the largest levels possible. The attempts of Spartacus to lead his escaped slaves out of Rome are paralleled by Olivier's effort to gain a dictatorship over the Empire; they are both self-righteous and justified, but Spartacus's ideals are more practical and realistic than Olivier's bourgeois plans to take power over Rome. The decision to cast Olivier, rather than some hammy villain, does much to complicate matters, for his internal logic and reason seems to be thoroughly evident and fully fleshed out, making his scenes just as interesting and dramatic as Spartacus' expansive rebellion. His clearly erotic relationship with his slave, played by Tony Curtis (with his NY accent intact), wholly evoked through glances and line deliveries from Olivier, makes his hatred of Spartacus very real and human when Curtis runs away to join Spartacus' army. Douglas' performance is strong and stoic, even for him, but nothing revolutionary (no pun intended); while he, as exec producer, ran the show and this is, ostensibly, his, rather than Kubrick's, production, I still prefer his more risky, morally ambiguous turns, such as Billy Wilder's Ace in the Whole, to his impermeable nice guy image. The supporting cast is aces, with Curtis, Jean Simmons, Charles Laughton, Herbert Lom, and, especially, Peter Ustinov making distinct impressions, despite their stock roles. Every performer seems to have subtext in their work, and this is, no doubt, due to Kubrick's input. The corniness level is, thankfully, at a minimum throughout, even during the melodramatic ending that justifies itself through emotion, rather than action. The script by blacklisted writer Dalton Trumbo is filled with wit and insight, without ever sacrificing the Ancient Rome environment.

Highly Recommended for fans of epic cinema, Stanley Kubrick, Kirk Douglas, or Laurence Olivier. I did not expect to be as enthralled by the 220 minute film as I was; Kubrick proves his everlasting steel grip of the balls of cinema once more.

Avatar (2009)

James Cameron's Cinematic Output, Best To Worst

(Excluding Piranha II and his documentary work):

The Terminator

Aliens

True Lies

Terminator 2: Judgement Day

Avatar

The Abyss

Titanic

This was not the end all be all of modern cinema. This was not our Star Wars, as some had promised. This was certainly not indicative of the limitless possibilities of 3D. This was what the trailers looked like; a mildly badass hodgepodge of Dances with Wolves, The Matrix, and a little bit of Dune (how DARE they, I say!).

Sam Worthington, contrary to his surname, is worthless yet again. It is one thing to watch a CGI Big Blue Thing fly around a CGI rainforest like its supposed to mean something, it's another thing when the CGI Big Blue Thing represents a character we could give a shit about. The man's a cripple...hope that's as much as you need for character development! Sigourney, Stephen Lang, and J.P. from Grandma's Boy are decent, but too broadly portrayed to be anything other than background filler. Giovanni Ribisi, on the other hands, nails his scenes as the Paul Reiser-esque company man only interested in mining the jungle planet for all its worth. With his delivery clearly patterned after Jeremy Piven's Ari Gold, he refers to the Na'vi as "blue monkeys," and generally tears apart the mystic hoobajoob that Cameron's mythos banks on. Zoe Saldana is also somewhat effective, despite her CGI handicap, in her portrayal of a native warrior woman with the hots for studly Big Blue Thing Worthington.

To argue that the man was not, at one point, a genius is moot. He has given us some of the best genre fare we will EVER receive as fans, and for any one of his true classics (i.e. the first 4 movies on the list above), we owe him our undying gratitude. But he's been underwater for the past 10 years (13+ if you count Titanic), and it shows. The dialogue, characterizations, and plot mechanics here are not much better than Episode 1, as far as I'm concerned. The visuals are what you are paying for with this film, and on that front, he delivers in spades. While no individual sequence is particularly memorable, there are moments scattered throughout that are exciting enough to warrant the multi-hundred million dollar price tag...maybe. I still would've liked to have given a shit about the characters that do things that I would of course love to do myself, but don't really wanna watch someone else do.

If you gotta see it, you gotta see it, and ain't a damned thing I say's gonna stop you. Just know that there is nothing here that will make you forget James Cameron's earlier work, or even the last big movie about indigenous people and invading military forces.

P.S. RANT: This film, and more specifically, the response to it, follows a trend I have noticed recently of movies not necessarily needing to be any good to be considered audience pleasers. Along with Star Trek earlier this year, many advocates of Avatar seem to believe that the visuals overwhelm the necessity for a clear or decent plotline, and accepting the contrivances that allow the spectacle to take place is appropriate for the experience. Having grown up with Cameron's films above, the original Star Trek and Star Wars series, and the old and new Batman films, I don't accept that for a second. The films Avatar gleefully steals from are some fantastic, original films; even those who understand the extent of the inspiration The Matrix derives from Asian cinema acknowledge that it is a well-constructed, revisionist interpretation of those ideas. However, to keep it in a relatable, human world, it stays very grounded: the villains are the machine-gun wielding U.S. military, the primary conflict is over corporate control, and Sigourney's character, unfortunately, asks for a Xanax in one scene. With all the inventions and fancy gadgetry and wildlife that he came up with for this shindig, would it have been so hard to conjure up original villains, motives, or conflicts? Why is it so hard to create an original plot these days? Or are the studios, producers, and filmmakers so scared of alienating their audience they are willing to pander to their increasingly juvenile tastes?

Whatever the answer, I really am getting sick of feeling gipped by the films I see in theaters these days. I wasn't the biggest District 9 fan in the world, but I totally buy that the film had more than one script meeting to come up with the plotline. With Avatar, once again, I feel that the preproduction meetings focused on things they could build, and design, and not on story, character, or dialogue, things that would make the film as timeless as the movies that Cameron blessed us with once upon a time.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008)

An emotional rollercoaster to say the least. The film opens with old Cate Blanchett on her death bed with Hurricane Katrina happening outside. It's bleak, and stays that way; the plot's main concern is the theme of loss and the fleeting nature of life and human experience. It's deep, but rough. I found it a pretty moving experience, and I can see why this connected with certain viewers as deeply as it did.

Craft wise, the film's near perfect. The epic nature of the film is more than deftly handled by David Fincher, and there are several set pieces that are flawlessly executed. The production design, costuming, and music are all top notch and very evocative of the storybook nature of the film. Dialogue even has some nice Hemingway-esque touches here and there. Pitt and Blanchett are both phenomenal in all of their ages, and Taraji P. Henson is really one of the most likable actresses working today, and shows it here. Tilda Swinton has a wonderful turn as a married English woman who has an affair with Benjamin; if the film has a flaw, its that the initial beats of Pitt and Blanchett's relationship do not match up to the sophistication and charm of his and Swinton's scenes together.

Without having Slumdog Millionaire, I can't say for sure whether this deserved Best Picture over that...but it certainly seems that way. Highly recommended.