A Dangerous Man (2010)

Solid, if low-key DTV actioner starring the fat, 60ish Steven Seagal about a fiasco that pits Chinese and Russian mobsters against each other, with fatty in the way. I haven't the time for bullshit; if you're wondering if this movie sucks dong, it does. It is a DTV movie with an uninteresting, convoluted premise involving a kidnapped witness and mob tensions. However, in the background, witnessing key scenes and actually (*gasp!*) engaging in others, is big bad voodoo daddy Steven Seagal, laying the aikido smacketh down on fools when the script needs some action. It is not that it does not look like he can still fuck fools up; it most certainly does. It's just that he's fat, old, tan, probably bald under the toupee, and obviously uninterested. He's not that discerning between his DTV efforts, and it shows, but luckily, to his fanbases glee, the fuck is unable to shed his natural charm even in his boredom. A scene where he tells a hillbilly he's going to "fuck him up ugly" and then proceeds to do so only works because of Seagal's trademark whispery bluster, and elements like that, which actually do serve as evidence of Seagal's remaining badassness, make me agreee with Vern when he says that Seagal could have a Charles Bronson like run at this point in his career. And I agree; with his trademark humor and Bhuddist sensibilities, there is a chance he could still click with modern audiences. Hopefully, he decides to pick better movies, and, hopefully, they will be ones that directly involve him in the plot, not just throw him in the mix to add a few zero's to the budget.

Slightly Recommended for diehard Seagal fans. There is enough here to warrant a viewing, preferably on television or Netflix stream. But for DTV Seagal, Urban Justice, featuring Eddie Griffin and Danny Trejo, is still the one to beat.

P.S. This film has a Russian mob boss telling a policeman, "In Russia, we fuck cops in the mouth when we run out of dogs." I'm not saying the rest of the dialogue lives up to that. I'm just saying that's in there, and other absurd lines like it.